goldenknight: (Default)
[Filter: Franelcrew except Eabh and Gabe]

What are we doing about the boys, tomorrow?

We can't leave them alone, and I don't think it's a good idea to actually bring them, but as far as I know, everyone wished to go, so ... it's a bit of a situation?
goldenknight: (Default)
[Filter: Elliot]

You're up early ... ah. Apologies if I'm intruding. I didn't expect you to stay up, when I heard the rustling around ... I think most people are trying to get in as much rest as they can.

-- I hope you're feeling at least a little better. I know one night isn't much, but ... you've been quieter than usual, and ... I know it's difficult.
goldenknight: (gasp!)
It wasn't an animal. It was ... what I saw, it looked more like a human than any animal, except ... the eyes. They were red, completely red, too big for its face. And it had fangs. It leapt up right to the window, I -- Dragons, I could have reached out and --

-- The way it moved. I only caught a glimpse. It was so fast, it doesn't seem possible something that shape could move so quickly. The mist swallowed it up too quickly to see details, but I do think it was making those ... noises. I didn't see any others.

The eyes, though ... it was staring right at me.
goldenknight: (:?)
[Filter: Faith]

You clearly have a lot on your mind, so -- I was wondering if you wanted to talk about it?
goldenknight: (D:?)
It's ... gone?

How can it just be missing?

Unless I'm missing something, but ... I think there is clearly meant to be a sword, here ...
goldenknight: (Default)
[Filter: Franelcrew, Dragoncrew and Aoife]

Ah ... hm. Keagan? Come look at this.

[pause]

I don't think they left any of their things behind in the mess -- we would have found something by now -- but looking at this ... I think one of the intruders might have injured themselves when they broke through the shop's windows. I think this is dried blood here, on the sill. It's not much, but ...

Would it be possible to use this in your scrying spell, Lady Celeste?

-- I'm sorry, I know we keep asking, but ... if we could find these people before they can regroup ... I can't stop thinking about it. We can't be here to guard Miss Aoife forever, and I'm sure the moment we let our guard down ...
goldenknight: (...!)
What -- who --

Are they gone? How ...

No, I have to -- Kail. Kail, are you all right?
goldenknight: (sulky!)
[Filter: Korvin]

I don't suppose you were following along with all of that.

After a revelation like that, it seems silly to get caught up in little details that probably won't matter at all in the scheme of things. But I can't stop thinking about those dreams -- not because they were horrible, but because ... because of who I presumably was, back then. Who a part of me might still be? Surely, I should try to focus on the battles, the monsters, what we were trying to do and why, because surely if there are any answers to be found they would be in regards to those things, but ...

I can't. I ...

... Ah, I'm sorry. You must -- you and the others must be on your way, by now. Preparing yourselves for the journey down the river, I suppose. Did you ever
goldenknight: (vague!)
[Filter: Korvin]

I'm not entirely sure what to say, but I don't want it to be nothing, and apart from the obvious, I wanted you to know that I'm already getting questions from certain others that were perhaps less inebriated than we thought. So -- I'm not sure if the same is happening to you, but if it hasn't yet, I wanted you to be prepared for that ... er, I think Fayre is among them. And ... well. You know Fayre.

I know you're not feeling well this morning, but ... well. If you'd like to talk, before the border ... or even after.

[Filter: Kail]

Have you had your breakfast, yet? I don't want to have this conversation until I'm sure you're capable of paying attention to anything beyond your own misery.
goldenknight: (>:|)
[Filter: Kail]

After all this, do you even care about what you did to Korvin and Irving? They were entitled to their privacy, Korvin especially. You have no idea how terrifying it is to have this affliction, especially here, in Northern Dentoria, where -- his family lives here, Kail, his mother is acquainted with Lady Francisca personally, if you think word of this isn't going to spread now that everyone in our group knows about it you're delusional.

You've taken that privacy from him, and I just can't believe you could be so ... cruel. You know how long I hid what I am -- or tried to -- and you know why, I told you everything. Everything! And you think it's perfectly okay to turn around and force another man to admit his preferences in front of everyone, you practically attack him for it in front of the whole group -- and for what?

Because you didn't like the thought of us being together?

I don't care what your reasoning is. I'm tired of you acting like this is still Franel and you're still Lord Roivas's untouchable younger son that doesn't have to account for any of his actions unless his father takes him to task on them, because it hasn't been that way for almost a decade, Kail, and you haven't grown up a bit. Not one single bit.

I wish I had taken the opportunity when I had it. Everyone thinks I'm standing around waiting for you to come to your senses, but I'm not. I never was. Korvin is a wonderful young man, he's attractive, he's sensible, he's talented, he has a wonderful sense of humor and enough charm to turn any sensible head, and I turned him down because I didn't think it would be fair to start something and then immediately have to end it, because we're going to Kilia and he's not. That's the only reason.

If it wasn't for how unfair it would be to Irving, maybe I would have taken this opportunity to tell him all of that. So if it bothers you so much, maybe you should go thank him. And apologize, because what you've done isn't something that can be forgiven easily.

Next time, if you care so much, try talking to me, first. And listen, for once in your life.
goldenknight: (:?)
[Filter: Jasmine]

So, was it actually a contest, or just a game?

Korvin tells me that Fayre's been trying to set him up with Irving -- they've already been out together, but I think you knew that -- and I can only assume that you two made some sort of arrangement ...

Well. It doesn't really matter. We talked, and I told him what I suspected, and he actually seems rather upset by it all, to be honest. I think he might be talking to Fayre right now, so I thought it would just be common courtesy to let you know that this is done, now, too.
goldenknight: (Default)
[Filter: Franelcrew]

I'm still not absolutely certain what all was finalized, in that meeting, but one thing's plain -- it's finished, and everyone involved intends to go home very soon.

Which makes me wonder ... what are we doing? We have a year, now, until we presumably need to be in Kilia.
goldenknight: (gasp!)
[Filter: Eina Army]

[rushed]

Everyone needs to get to the gate. They've realized what we're doing -- they're rallying on us. They're -- Dragons, there are mages everywhere. Calaith is injured, I can't tell how badly, and I can't stay here. If anyone sees this, we're in the alcove at the [pause] southwest tower. I think they might [smudge marks]

They're hitting the walls. Watch for rubble, it's -- and if any of our flyers are here, we need to get Calaith out
goldenknight: (vague!)
[Filter: Kail]

You know ... I saw you hovering around that wagon, earlier.

Look.

I know you're trying very hard to pretend like I'm not here, like I'm not perfectly capable of seeing what's happening. You can hide from me all you like, but I know you too well for this nonsense, Kail, I always have. You've never gotten away with this sort of thing with me, and just because this is about me doesn't change that. This is awful. I know you think so, too. We've barely spoken, you make excuses so you don't have to see me. Do you think I don't know? Not even you can be that dense.

I need you to understand that I understand. You can't be something that you're not, I know that better than most anyone. It's -- frankly insulting, that you think you know better than I do! You don't, you absolutely do not.

And all this is doing is ruining whatever we could have salvaged, after ... after everything, and that's worse than anything else that could possibly happen, can't you see that?

I don't want this. I can't stand this, anymore. I don't want another awkward, terrible minute of any of this, and I know you feel the same. All right? Do you understand what I'm saying?

I don't want a rose.

I just want my best friend back ...
goldenknight: (:?)
[Filter: Kail]

You know, I was wondering ... all of this talk about the scouting groups, and surveying the areas around Forna ...

I'm not exactly bored, here, like some of the others are. But I think it might be a good idea to have as many of us out scouting for ourselves as possible. Gebann, ah, he tries, but he's so busy with his men, we can't exactly depend on important news to reach us quickly. So, the more of us out there, the better chance we have of being prepared ...

So, I suppose I'm wondering if you'd be interested in volunteering? I wouldn't go without you, obviously, but there are only so many of us really suited to the task.
goldenknight: (^^!)
[the writing is messy and spotted]

Dragons, is it actually -- over? Did I win?

I did, didn't I?

I thought Terrance was going to, actually, I didn't actually expect that I'd be able to ... I can't believe he kept that up as long as he did, I would never have been able to do that.

Ah, is everyone else all right?
goldenknight: (morose)
[Filter: Private]

There's nothing I can possibly say to make any of it better. Absolutely nothing, how could there be? She's right about everything. And ... if she stays here, if she leaves us now and I never do see her again ... I'll only have myself to blame. She would be all right. I know she would be. Everyone who has ever left us has found their own way, somewhere, their own life. They've moved on, and I think they all must be happier now, living for themselves, than they ever were when they were putting everything on hold for this. So -- maybe it's what's best. Pearl will move on with her life, she'll find something -- someone, I hope -- that makes her happy, and ...

And I'll never forgive myself for being the reason she left us, and it will be exactly what I deserve.

I should make Kail apologize to her, before she goes. If he means half of what he's said to me, lately, he can at least do that. She was my best friend, here, apart from him. Those years we spent together meant the world to me, and I will never, ever forgive myself for what's happened. Just because I can't ... love her, it doesn't mean that I didn't ... I do love her, just not ...

It's not enough, and there's no excuse.

I ...

I wouldn't want to be here anymore, either. I can imagine what it must be like. I already know what it's like to think that -- that Kail's happier with someone else. What would I do, if he changed his mind now? Or three years from now. If he put a stop to this all of a sudden and confessed that he'd never really felt any of the things he says he does and -- then he found the love of his life a month later? And then, if everyone came forward and congratulated him for it?

I can't even ...

And he would do the same thing. He would be worse. He'd think we could just go back to being friends, and he'd be hurt if I -- if I couldn't. And ... I don't think I could, how could I? Every day would hurt so, so badly, so much worse than it ever was before.

I don't deserve her friendship. I just wish that she didn't have to hurt so badly before she realizes that I was never worth her time from the start.
goldenknight: (:?)
[Filter: Kail]

So ... that coincidence last night ...

That wasn't by chance at all, was it? I saw those looks you were giving each other, you know. You and Fayre. You planned that, for some reason, didn't you?

I'm sure of it. I just can't figure out why.
goldenknight: (Default)
[Filter: Private]

I still catch myself thinking ...

Haha. What if I'm still on that mountain? That's when all this really ... what if I did hit my head, what if I never woke up, and what if this is all just one last silly fantasy, before ...

He's so stubborn. Everyone has their own version of that look to give us, and he just stares right back, daring them to say something. I ... I never thought ... never. He says he wants this, too, and at first it was just something that I was sure he was saying because -- because it's Kail, and he never thinks before he speaks. But every day that goes by ... he's been here, every day. Every night. There has to be a moment, when -- when I stop doubting all of this, stop telling myself it's impossible, that any second he'll think better of it. If he can stand there, every day, face down our friends, his family ...

Can you really live your whole life one way, and then just -- change, like that? Or was there always some part of him that had these thoughts, and I never noticed, because I was so wrapped up in being terrified for myself? Did he just never think of it, until someone made it so obvious that even he couldn't miss it.

That ... haha. That sounds like Kail, actually ... I doubt he ever would have thought of this -- of me -- this way, on his own. But that doesn't make this any less ...

It doesn't, does it?

And it's just as terrifying, just in a different sort of way. I want ... I want to make him happy. Dragons, I want that so badly. It's so hard to tell if he is, or not, when everything is still so strange, and no one is sure what to think or how to speak to us, anymore. Everything changed all at once, and not all of it is pleasant -- Nessa frightened off most everyone who might have really spoken their minds, but --

I don't mind. I ... truly don't. Some of it is ... some of it stings. Keagan and Faith, mostly, and -- I'm still not sure what Lady Celeste is thinking, I doubt I want to know. And Lawrence. And ... Pearl. But all of that just seems so far away, when I have Kail with me, actually with me, daring them all to say a word. How much worse must it be, for him? I've had my whole life to deal with this, to think about this and consider all of the ways everyone might react to knowing.

I was going to have to deal with this, regardless of what Kail did. And considering that, what do I have to complain about? But for Kail, it must be ...

... It can't be easy. And I don't know if I can -- if I'm worth all of that. I want to be, Dragons, I do, I'd do anything. I still don't know if he realizes just how ... how much I love him. How much I've always loved him. How much this means to me ... how hard this is to believe, after a whole lifetime of begging myself to stop this nonsense, to let it go, because -- because ...

I'm still scared. But this isn't the sort of fear that makes you run and hide and pretend to be something you're not. It's ... it's what makes you realize that you're alive, and you'll fight with everything you have to stay that way. You'll do anything at all ...

...

[Filter: Kail]

Haha ... I wish you could see yourself, right now.

You know, if you keep on glaring at everyone that way, people are just going to stop talking to you entirely. And then what are you going to do?
goldenknight: (Default)
Let's ... start that over, shall we ...?

I'm sorry that the discussion last time went so poorly. Kail and I weren't expecting ... that sort of a response, to even the suggestion that something might be happening. And we haven't been as prepared as we should have been, to discuss this. So.

I think it's best to just end all of this speculation before it gets worse.

[pause]

Kail and I are together. We have been for a little over a month. And ... and I hope you'll forgive Kail's blustering, from before ... we'd agreed to keep it quiet, for awhile, and ... he was doing that for my sake. ... So.

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Sir Sawyer of Franel